“well, he was standing, and breathing…I think all signs point to alive.”

“you mean that unsightly girth is nature-given? He must curse God nightly.”

“what’s that smell?” “it’s the smell of my soldering iron. I LOVE it. I LOVE burning things!”

“I have nothing cute to say for my message. Ooh! Puppies! Hey, that’s cute. Now leave yours.”

“I though you were my mom! But my mom doesn’t speak in a resonant basso profundo.”

“well, I’ve got the next two hours planned…and then there’s darkness and possibly dragons.”

“I didn’t know you were gonna be here.” “yeah, well, the white rabbit ran by, I chased him down a hole and now here I am.”

“you sound distracted; did something cute just walk by?”

“how can you be so mean to me when I only managed to line one of my eyes?”

“I could kind of tell you were dating someone.” “what? How?” “well, you never dressed weather appropriate, that kind of thing.”

“I’m not incapable, I just haven’t been hit in the head with the Oprah stick lately!”

“where are you getting this junk?” “life. I’ve lived.” “where, in a bette midler movie?”

“hey guys. You probably shouldn’t shove a radish up your son’s nose. Just a thought.”
--Gilmore Girls