"Whoever thought up the word "Mammogram"? Every time I hear it, I think I'm supposed to put my breast in an envelope and send it to someone." ~Jan King

"I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on." ~Roseanne Barr

"When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country." ~Elayne Boosler

"I never married, because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late every night." ~Marie Corelli

"If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a noose around your neck?" ~Linda Ellerbee

"If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them." ~Sue Grafton