“mmaaaahhhh now I’m crabby, I’m crabby and useless!”

“sorry, just feeling a little persecuted lately. Coffee?”

“wow, it’s expensive to slowly rot your insides, isn’t it?”

“this isn’t Amish country; girls and boys usually date alone!”

“he’s the boy that I like!” “I know, I tried to find one you hated, but they were all out.”

“I’m afraid once your heart’s involved it ALL comes out in moron.”

“since when do you not like avocado?” “since the day I said ‘what’s this?’ and you said avocado.”

“all I ever said about dances is that you go, you eat, you take a picture, and then you get auctioned off to a biker gang from Saucalito.”

“what guy?” “I don’t know. The guy who hangs out in our trees all day when you’re not home?...he hit his head on a branch one day when I closed a window too quickly.”

“and she’s reading again. How novel.”

“how many languages can you say ‘none of your business’ in?”

“you’re sixteen, you have skin like a baby’s ass! There’s nothing to primp!”

“ ‘we’re here’? that’s how you answer the door?” “well, I was all out of saran wrap.”

“oh, a stroke would be so good right about now.”

“have you seen The Outsiders? Just call me pony boy.”
--Gilmore Girls