“you traded my Christmas gift for a slightly pornographic leering monkey lamp?”

“whenever you got sick I made this.” “are you sure it wasn’t the other way around?”

“I’ve always dreamed that a guy would get ME a confusing Czechoslovakian novel.”

“you made me a santa burger! He has a hat and everything! No one has ever made me something quite this disgusting before. I thank you.”

“but there’s food and there’s people and there’s a burger with a face!”

“what, you’re psychic guy and you’re getting visions while you’re driving at 20 mph in the oldest truck known to man?”

“where’s the scarecrow when you need him?”

“your mother called me an idiot.” “wow, you must have sucked up good.”

“can we please talk about something besides my formerly huge head?”

“I don’t want Boo Radley touching my rosebud wallpaper!”

“get away from me, you mental patient!”

“I’m gonna throw my purse at you!”

“marzipan is a unique substance unto itself; it’s like velveeta, or plutonium.”

“you look like my seven-year-old when she’s all grumpypuss.”

“I’m weak. I have no spine.” “if you had no spine, you’d be walking funnier.”

“that had all the tact of a Nazi storm trooper.”

“you kicked me out; what were you expecting, a candygram?”

“he’s a grown man with an etch-a-sketch!” “so shake him real hard, maybe he’ll disappear!”

“I’m going to make out in the coat room. Don’t eat my chicken.” “that’s going on your tombstone.”
--Gilmore Girls