“**gasp** I’m a sexual harasser!” “well then you need some fake eyelashes.”

“they’re at the movies, there’s no drugs there! They don’t even have the real Red Vines!”

“I do not want to incur the wrath of Luke.” “why not? It’s fun.”

“I like this wine, it’s very nice…you can smell the italians’ feet.”

“maybe you would like to take a picture of me, with you, tonight, ya know, so you can sleep with it?”

“what’s its name?” “case study number 12.” “is that hyphenated?”

“I think I’m getting scurvy.” “you do?” “yeah, well either that or a cold, but either way I need some fruit.”

“you’re going to a party?” “yes I am.” “honey, why don’t you just stay at home and read The Bell Jar? Same effect.”

“you’re just jealous cause they like Rory better than you.” “oh, thank you, for the hug.”

“You brought me used dessert?”

“look at the various red marks on your paper as a reminder that to err is human. And here at Chilton we try to beat that human right out of you.”

“hah, I got the vein in the forehead, woo!” “sadist.”

“eugh. Your patented ‘do it now or something evil will befall you’ look.”

“mmm! Tasty AND flame retardant.”

“do you like coffee?” “…only with my oxygen.”

“well, listen now, my fine friend, who, if you had a better hairstyle, I might consider dating…”
--Gilmore Girls