“well, I want to be in the Bangles, but that doesn’t mean I quit my job and buy a guitar and ruin my life, to be a Bangle, does it?”

“do you have any hemlock back there, arsenic, something quick?”

“wow, round 1 and already tapped.”

“well, I don’t mean ‘funny’ funny, I’m being philosophical.”

“this is a real crossroads situation, it’s like to perm or not to perm.”

“you don’t do yoga on the dalai llama’s mat and you don’t get behind my counter! Period!”

“no, no, you’re memorable! I’ve been memorabling you all week!”

“I never thought a man would want me.” “I know what you mean.” “Aw, please, with that ass?” “I mean, want me for more than my ass. Me for me, the whole package. Annoying neurosis and all.”

“when were you planning on telling me this, at your wedding?” “no, by the rehearsal dinner at least!”

“why didn’t you tell me?” “cause I thought you were gonna take it bad, thank God I was wrong.”

“someday, you’ll meet some really great guy, and he’ll make your head all foggy and you won’t know what to do with yourself.”

“mom, sissy talked to her stuffed animals and they answered her.”

“well, what’s new?” “I was being impossible and then I turned into a Jewish comedian.”

“I think that goes without saying.” “only in your world, mom.”

“please be serious, we’re shopping for Rory!” “no, I’m shopping for Rory. You’re shopping for your imaginary granddaughter, Barbara Hutton.”

“wow, nice face you got on there.”

“so, now tell me, why miss lemonhead today?”

“you’re smiling. You’re pleased that the ice man looked at you like a porterhouse steak.”
--Gilmore Girls